It was discovered lately that one of the main reasons men become annoyed when their wives turn them down, is not about the rejection per se but about the way they were rejected.
GENUINE REASONS TO SAY “NO”
(1) Sickness: If you are sick, let him know even before bed-time so that he can prepare his mind that there will be “no show” that night. As soon as you are healed, resume your duty.
(2)New baby: If you have just been delivered of a baby, sex should be avoided to allow your body to heal. Once you are okay and birth fluid stops coming from your vagina, resume your duty. Never allow motherhood hinder your marriage.
(3)Menstruation: If both of you are not comfortable with making love during menstruation, this is another genuine reason. Immediately your period starts, inform him, maybe jokingly by saying, “Oh boy! Your visitor has come down here”. He will understand and switch his mind off sex. Note that sex during menstruation is not bad if you both agree on it.
(4)Tiredness: If you are really tired, notify him. However, EXCUSES THAT YOU ARE TIRED EVERY NIGHT CAN MAKE HIM TIRED OF YOU.
(5) Prayer and fasting: The period of fasting should also be separated and you should avoid sex during this period. This is not because it is sinful to have sex while fasting, rather, it gives you time to focus on your prayers. Note that if you break your fast in the evening, you can still have sex, despite the fact that you have intentions to fast the next day.
(6)Last week of pregnancy. In the last week of pregnancy, most doctors advise couples to stay off sex, so as not to induce pre-mature labour. This could be another reason to say no but note that sex can come from day one of the pregnancy to few weeks to your expected date of delivery (EDD).
INVALID REASON TO SAY “NO
(a) “I am breastfeeding” – Breast feed the baby, love feed the father.
(b) “I want to sleep”- Sex is a sleeping tablet.
(c) “Midnight headache”.
(d) “Tomorrow is Sunday”- Sex is not an anointing sapper.
(e) “I will be fasting tomorrow”- You are not fasting today, so go ahead.
(f) “You’ve not given me the money I asked for” – You are not a prostitute.
(g) “The bed is noisy”- Put the mattress on the floor.
(h)“The children are yet to sleep”- They won’t hear, the door is locked.
(i) “This is afternoon”- Then make it an afternoon show.
(j) “I have a new hair-do”- Who owns the hair? Who owns you?
(k) “It will dirty or roughen my clothes” Then remove them!
(l) “The baby is sick” – You are not the doctor.
(m) “I am traveling tomorrow” That is why you must do it today.
(n) “There is work tomorrow”- Then play tonight
(o) “You did one last week” That was last week.
(p) “My baby will wake up”- If he wakes up, he will sleep again.
(q) “I am not in the mood”- If you are not in the mood, let him take you into the mood.
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on firstname.lastname@example.org, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB Channel: C0032D398. Www.familybooster.com